Madd Hatter's Lab





Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Science Fiction Novels run through my Head



Lately, when I start to wake, instead of remembering part of a dream, I have a novel running through my head as I come into consciousness. Crazy stories, just like I'm reading it from a book.

This morning's was something out of science fiction. A person, in the future, doing some schleppy IT-related work because he wants to slack off. Only he realizes the work he does fuels what he hates about society and aids in lining the pockets of his enemies. There were spaceships involved - a la Futurama, but more grown up and realistic and grimy.

It just always strikes me as odd when I wake up and there are these well-formed sentences running through my head, and I'm not the center of the dream or even watching it - someone is narrating it. I find it even more odd that I have some sort of science fiction brewing in my unconscious; I don't even like science fiction. But that can mainly be blamed on Star Trek.

It's time to pick up work on the pod series again.

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Friday, October 03, 2008

VP nominee debates and how the press infuriates me


Pantheon, Rome

I'm not big on watching political anything. It's just not for me, listening to people drone on. Put a transcript in front of me, so I can read, deconstruct, take notes - that I can do, though I realize you lose the human element, body language, the tone. I just can't stomach 90 minutes of chatter and blah, blah, blah.

But highlights - a 3 to 5 minute recap, I'll listen to that, stay current (again, taken with a grain of salt, since what is shown is very subjective to the producers, reporters and editors). The thing that really strikes me this morning is, "Biden vs. Palin - there's no clear winner, but Palin didn't fail, which is what many expected. She held her own."

Yes, that's a good motivator for me when I'm at my lowest. I may not have sparkled and shined, performing top-notch, but at least I didn't fail. Quite frankly, I don't see that as I'm successful at something. Is that really what we need in a leader of our country? "Wow, she didn't fail, so that's successful." That's bullshit. You need a leader, someone who can take charge, bring value to the table and clearly come out on top. Not someone who scrapes by, because they didn't fail.

Since I didn't really listen to the debate, and I haven't actually read any in-depth information on the debate, this isn't so much a criticism of the two candidates as it is the press and the reaction of the hand-picked "public" on the TV this morning.

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Monday, September 08, 2008

Knock Knock


Door Knocker, Florence, Italy

Does anyone remember when Senator Clinton was running for the democratic nomination? How it was insinuated that women would vote for her just because she was a woman - damn her policies, positions, etc. And women were up in arms because we're not that dumb; we do have functioning brains.

Then along comes Sarah Palin. An inexperienced governor from Alaska with a knocked up 17 year old who has taken over the news for the past week or two. What on earth would make a man choose such a person as a running mate? Possibly angling for the women's vote? Doesn't that mean the Republicans are insinuating that women will vote any woman into office - the thing we were up in arms about to begin with when the press portrayed our support for Hillary in the same manner?

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Sunday, August 17, 2008

Rainy Streets of Florence


Ponte Vecchio, Florence


I had one of the most wonderful, most eye-opening experiences about a week ago. As many of you know I sell my work on Etsy - a great place to find handmade work by artists & crafters (if you didn't know that, you should pop on over to my shop and check it out). CBDImagination - another Etsy shop owner - messaged me to tell me how much she loved the picture posted above, that it brought back many memories for her.

I do love this photo, the way the light pours out of the windows and reflects on the rainy streets. The life that is portrayed down the street, the person in the red jacket who pulls your eye down there.

But as much life as I see in my pictures, I sometimes can't shake the art school feeling. "It's just a pretty picture," they would say, "... it has no meaning, no depth, no insight into something greater." Like everything you have to make as an artist has to make that big, political statement. It has to generate some controversy. And, somehow, any work that doesn't do that, isn't as good.

So, CBD, she made me realize that a pretty picture can be more than a pretty picture. Photographs, just like music, just like a scent, can bring back waves of memories for a person. That's how I feel every time I look at one of my photos - and often how I feel when I look at the work I own from other artists. Photography is documentation of a moment, a particular point in time. And just because something is beautiful, mainstream, doesn't make it any less worthy of the term "art" for some people.

To each their own - their own feelings, their own memories, their own opinions.

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Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Gray Skies


Santa Francesca Romana

Gray is a color that comforts me. The moment I slip into a gray t-shirt, sweatshirt, or sweater, I'm just so damn comfortable and I get the warm and fuzzies.

I'm slowly learning it's not just being wrapped in gray - just the color cues my mind to fall into this feeling. My breathing gets a little deeper, my mind stops racing quite so much. I'm comfortable and chill.

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Friday, June 27, 2008

Purple Haze



A couple of weeks ago I came home from work and everything was hazy. It was actually rather beautiful although it was an odd, surreal feeling.

I know the picture isn't purple haze, more yellow, like that eerie color the sky gets before a really bad thunderstorm. I didn't get a picture of the purple haze - it was off to the left for a short time period.

I know the fires are destructive and the air I was breathing was really bad for me, but it was beautiful that night.

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Thursday, February 28, 2008

Music Makes my World go Round



I find it funny that some people don't realize how much I love music - even I miss that about myself occasionally. It has the power to lift me up out of my blues, or sink me farther into them, depending on the mood I'm in when I hit that play button.

I'm not sure if there's anything better than driving down the road, windows rolled down on a sunny day, listening to something that makes you want to move. Move your head, tap your toes, dance with your fingers, wiggle your booo-tay.

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Thursday, January 31, 2008

You must have a good camera!



I just love it when people look at my work and that is the first (or second) line out of their mouth. As if my camera jumped out of my hand, ran back down the street, centered the scene perfectly, focused and snapped the shot, noting that it didn't need a flash to get the best lighting.

My hubbie once said this about a friend, but after some thought (I said nothing, neither did his friend) he came to the conclusion that maybe there has to be a smidgen of talent at least to get the camera to produce a nice picture.

And for the record, I do have a nice camera :-) I also have some others that might not be qualified as nice, but will produce some fantastic results if it's the effect you're looking for. Because in the end, the camera is just a tool that the entire world has access to, just like paint, pastels, pens, and clay.

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Friday, January 25, 2008

I forget.

My brain is mush. I don't remember anything anymore. I don't think this is a result of getting older, though, as I'm sure my parents or grandparents will tell me. I think it's a result of the internet and easy accessibility to information. It's because when we drive by a funny business sign in San Francisco, and try to remember it one block later, I think, "Oh, we can just look that up later." We did, and I still don't remember what it was, other than a strip club with a funny name up the street from City Lights bookstore.



I see the same with my photos. Once upon a time I made sure to either note everything or just mentally stash away the info. Now I comb wikipedia and take a look at the photos surrounding to determine where I was and what else I was looking at. Such as the above, "Oh, Pantheon, Raphael's Tomb, Madonna of the Rock".

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Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Ghost Town


Carousel, Florence, Italy

Yesterday morning the sky was gray - huge, puffy gray clouds provided a few variances in the shade of gray. I had to stop for gas and there was an eerie quiet for a few minutes - which is odd considering the gas station is on a busy street, and I was there during rush hour.

Another one of those surreal, slo-mo moments.

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Monday, November 19, 2007

Cabbage and Hun



The British royalty, if they haven't always been, are now classified as "Entertainment". Yes, alongside American Idle gossip and Mike Tyson gets jail time, there was a two minute clip on Queen Elizabeth's 60th wedding anniversary with Prince Phillip. Poor guy, being second in command with his title, the ABC News clip assures me he's in command in their personal life, well at least, he got to make the decision on where to school the children.

And we all know how well they turned out...

If you're wondering, the title are their nicknames for each other. You guess who's who.

Wow - I'm in a rather smarmy mood this evening... Cheers!

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"Holy Tchotchke!"

Portions originally written October 24, 2007.



It was one of the first things that ran through my mind in Rome. We're staying near Vatican City, and the place is surrounded by junk shops and street vendors hawking pictures of the Pope, Jesus, and pretty much any other religious figure you can think of.



Everything in the city of Rome elicits a small "WOW" from me, followed by silence because I'm floored by the beauty of it. Toward the end of day one I figured this out, after seeing St. Peter's Basilica, the Sistine Chapel and Hall of Maps at the Vatican Museum, while enjoying a gelato in front of the Trevi Fountain. I know it's all the tourist spots, but I'm not sure what isn't in Rome. The entire city is like one big museum, only people live in and around every piece of art in it.




The mosaic work in St. Peter's is amazing



The proportions of the buildings and the lighting add to that WOW-factor I believe. I'm a huge fan of the golden light, unfortunately, I only see it in the early morning here in the U.S. -- and I'm not a morning person. It's pretty much a golden hue through most of the day there, as you can see from the photos.

We also got to see the Pope this morning, not so much because we planned it, but because we were walking by and noticed the crowd. We decided seeing the Pope might be a once in a lifetime thing, so we stuck around.



Unfortunately I had left the longer lens at home, so you get to play "Find the Pope!". Should be a good way to kill an hour of your Monday morning.

The entire popage-sighting was very spooky though. He was brought out in the pope-mobile and driven through the crowd, so it appeared he was floating in his white robes. Add to that some organ music, and the entire event seemed made for Halloween. Odd, interesting, unforgettable.

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Friday, November 16, 2007

the Dutch don't like us



Heineken, I've learned, is much better in other countries. I'm not sure what they do to it here, but I won't drink it. However, in Dubai and Europe, it's not a bad beer -- not my first choice, but drinkable.

So I wonder, what did we ever do to the Dutch?

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Thursday, September 20, 2007

Surreal Moments

I started this post 21 days ago - 8/31 at 7:16 AM... amazing how time is still flying, even though the wedding has come and gone.

Occasionally there are moments in my life where everything else seems to fade, to quiet-down, and one subject sticks out, defined very clearly, and overtake everything in that moment. And that moment just sloooooows down time. It's rather hard to describe, but these moments stick in my head, and they seem so surreal to me. I'm not sure if I've ever posted about the tree, the rain, and the Doors in Kentucky... if not, I will sometime. I'll have to dig around and see if it's anywhere in the diary.

The thing about these moments - they would make wonderful pictures, but bringing the camera into the situation would break the mood and the experience that's happening. People often assume that the camera goes everywhere with me, that I can't wait to travel and take pictures. While it's true that when we go on the amazing honeymoon my husband has planned I will have the camera in tow, and enjoy that, it's not normally my preferred method of photographing anything. It disrupts my moments. I'd rather go back, re-create the moment, on another day, after the experience.

The point I'm getting to... During the wedding week there are a couple of these surreal moments, where time slowed and a subject came into clear focus. The first was meeting Raju's cousin Geeta. I believe in my list I described her as smoldering... fiery, full of life... those things all popped into my head during this one instant -- blink of a second really. I was thinking someone else caught this side profile view that I had of her at that moment, but I've yet to find the picture. Maybe the smoldering Geeta just burned her image into my memory and that's my picture.

The other slow, surreal moment was when I grabbed a bit of cool air, drifted away from the party. I was sitting on the ledge, talking to another of Raju's cousins (he has almost as many as a Southerner, maybe more). Diane had walked away, leaving only Shankar standing below. Again, time slowed and in one instant, a lull in our conversation, I can remember the cool air, the sky above, and the look on Shankar's face, standing below. No snap judgments this time, just a singular moment in time that is as clear in my head as if I'd taken a snapshot.

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Friday, August 24, 2007

Yummy Inspirations

A while back, during the wedding planning mania, I stumbled across the work of a couple of artists that really piqued my interest. I never got around to posting it, so I will now. Both were posted on yumsugar, one of my favorite daily reads.

The first of the two is a book, Hungry Planet: What the World Eats by Peter Menzel and Faith D'Aluisio. The premise of the book is something fairly simple but pretty astounding when all binded together. The artists photographed families around the world with the food they consume in one week. The amount of money they spent on the bounty is also noted in the captions.



While I do find the pictures fascinating, I can't help but wonder how they picked the families. Did they decide to pick the family in Chad to prove a point of the lack of food in Chad? Is there not a rich family in Chad that would have photographed much differently? And what about the U.S. families? They seem to be middle-income. Was there not a lower-income family that they could have photographed?

Of course, this is why I need to go buy the book. Maybe they chose the most representative of the country as a whole to feature (i.e. most of Chad has a $1.23 to spend on food, and most Californians spend $159.18 per week). Or, maybe they took artistic liberties and showed families that would prove whatever point they wanted to make. I will only know once I search out this book and read it.

The other artist I discovered is like a mix of Cindy Sherman and Sandy Skoglund. Her name is Daniela Edburg, and she has some fantastical photos, mostly featuring food. In her series Drop Dead Gorgeous the subjects are consumed by the food, dying by an OD on MnMs, or being chased by a tornado of cotton candy.



It was refreshing to see this work. It's been a while since I've looked at any art that has impressed me much -- not sure if this is my fault or if there's just been a lack of impressive art lately, but I'm glad this is changing for the better for me.

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Thursday, August 23, 2007

I really did enjoy myself...



After all was said and done, I'm glad we blended so much of the Indian ceremony into our California celebration. The altar area was beautifully decorated and so many people got to play a part in the wedding. And, it was funny to have the Hindu priest ask us how to pronounce the name "Harrison" (I guess we're not the only ones baffled by some names). I also got to show off my freshly pedicured feet while stepping on rose petals (seriously, some people pay good money to have their feet rest on rose petals... I think a few did at the nail spa).



Plus, I've decided I'm going to adopt my husband's penchant for exaggerating the truth in order to spin a better story. Instead of "I circled the sacred fire 3 times," I think I will say, "I performed a death-defying stunt in the middle of the ceremony. I was a daredevil, circling a flaming coconut, each time getting closer and closer, with a 10 foot train on my wedding dress!" I'll have to let him finish the tale with some out-of-this-world meaning for making it around the fire, as I'm not nearly as good as he is yet... but I'm working on it.

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Friday, July 27, 2007

Remember



"When they tell you to grow up, they mean stop growing."
- Tom Robbins

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Sunday, July 22, 2007

Surreal



I've been through LAX before - a few times. I've never seen this hallway or one like it.

One word for it, surreal. In this picture, you can see a little vehicle, that was about a third of the way back. So imagine this picture times 3, and that's the length we walked down this very white, very repetitive hallway. And the entire time, there was beeping eminating from somewhere. Beeeep, beeep, beeep, beeep, beeep... Like something out of a Stanley Kubrick film.

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Monday, July 02, 2007

Flying Chipmunks, Wedding Planning and Football Stadiums



I've had crazy dreams lately. I haven't had a chance to write about them, but I will soon. And at some point, let's just say next year since I know aiming for anything this year is a joke, there will be a series of paintings based on my wacky, tacky dreams.

So instead of staying in my sleep-depraived state of mind, I'm going to post a photo from Carmel (oh Carmel, you were so long ago...) and pretend that I'm in that state of mind.

Happy Monday!

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Wednesday, June 06, 2007

through

sums it up nicely.

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Tuesday, May 08, 2007

It's like throwing cards virtually


You are The Wheel of Fortune


Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success


The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Summer, where the hell are you?



It's cold and gray. Something happens around 5:30 PM - I swear the temperature drops from 60 to 40 at that exact moment. I want sunny and 70, that dips just to maybe a chilly 55 at night - keyword being night, not 6 pm when it's still daylight out. It's April already, but I guess Mother Nature hasn't got the memo yet.

But, that's enough complaining. Other than being a little chilly and still needing to wear fluffy house shoes, life is good. It's not slushy melon margarita good yet, but that's just around the corner. Well, if Mother Nature ever gets that memo. Maybe she's on vacation in the tropics, enjoying her own cocktail.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Smile - I am


Reading my friend Pappy's site today made me think of thoughts I had a while back. It also made me get off my ass and go for a walk, which Milo enjoyed greatly.

I'm not sure if I'm just on Cloud 9 lately, or if I'm just trying to focus on the good things, and not the stress and worry of the future, the past, the what ifs, etc. It's not a concious focus, so maybe I'm just slowly, slowly learning to relax.

As I was walking Milo the other morning, the bees were buzzing, it was pleasantly warm, the sun was shining, the flowers on the bushes were blooming. I smiled. As I smiled, and side-stepped the snail, I started making a list in my head of all the things that make me smile, and make my worries melt away.

When I stepped out today, and saw the leaves above, I decided when I got back in, whether or not I had the time, I would at least sit down and put some of my thoughts down in writing...

Things that Make me Smile

  • Colors in nature - especially when they match the vibrant outfit I'm wearing

  • The sun warming the crown of my head

  • The smell of flowers blooming on the first day of spring

  • Milo's prance

  • Nin ordering me a birthday present off the internet (and it getting here!)

  • The smell of Indian food on my right hand

  • Raju laughing at my loving his Mom's mango pickle

  • Raju's mom taking the time to show me how to make her mango pickle

  • The brilliant blue of the sky

  • The slightly damp air on a warm morning

  • The pomeranian on the trail with it's butt shaved (actually, this one made me laugh)

  • The twinkle in Raju's eye when he laughs at a little kid running

  • Being moved to create something

  • My Dad's hug

  • Lounging outside while typing this list, or enjoying a glass of wine in my little outdoor sanctuary in the evening




  • The sparkle of my engagement ring in the sun

  • The first time I start up the grill when the weather warms

  • Having good friends and the most wonderful family

  • Cupcakes, with or without sprinkles

  • Getting flowers

  • Raju's hand gently rubbing mine

  • Memories

  • Water

  • Knowing I will see Mom soon

  • My dried herb garden

  • My live roses

  • California Poppies

  • Wearing a sarong

  • Palm trees

  • Milo's smile :-)


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Monday, February 26, 2007

Ever hear of Jethro?



Really? Pants with a rope as the belt? If this is actually the trend, I am old. Ancient.

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Monday, January 08, 2007

...Happy New Yeeeeeaarrr! I Luv Ya, I Luv Ya... Good God!

Yes, it is a new year. And there's no more James Brown. And I'm now trying to plan a wedding. Wow, is 2007 different. Even the weather is different. It is a beautiful day -- 69 degrees officially, but my south facing porch's thermometer is reading 93 (no way it is that hot -- I'm sitting here in jeans and I'm comfy).

I've been lazy. I had lots of thoughts swirling through my head for pictures, but now they've all flown the coop. I didn't write them down, so I guess I'll just hope they find their way back home, and that next time I won't be so lazy. I also had goals to reach. Goals to get the shop up. Goals to get websites built for friends. Goals to get Gigis Finds back on line. Goals to save money (I have, a little), to pay off debts (I guess I have, a lot, but it doesn't feel like it), to sale some photos through stock photography sites, to shoot every day, to start painting, to re-grow my herb garden, to learn French.

Note, these were all goals, not resolutions. I don't make resolutions for the new year -- they seem doomed to failure. But, then again, my goals aren't being reached either :-) So maybe I should try something new this year.

I'll think about that some more tomorrow. For now, I'll enjoy the sun...

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Wednesday, December 06, 2006

More Christmas, Less Cold, Less Snow


Some people seem to think it's not Christmas if you don't have snow and your nose isn't in danger of frostbite. I wondered what it would be like to have Christmas in California. I thought it would be odd, slightly less Christmasy. I had only one taste of the warm Christmas in my childhood -- but it was a Disney Christmas, in Florida, with fake snow and Mickey and Minnie.

But it seems California overcompensates for the lack of snow. More lights, more decorations, more celebrations (at least more than the small town I was from, and even from Plaza-lit Kansas City). There's lots of celebrations for Christmas in the smaller towns -- treelit streets, snow brought in for snowball fights, ice-skating under the palm trees. It seems every park, square, or small downtown has some sort of special Christmas celebration.

The result? I look forward to Christmas instead of dreading running in and out of the stores in the slush and the cold. It puts a silly smile, this California Christmas.

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Thursday, November 16, 2006

from the "good" book

I'm not big on posting YouTube videos, but this one was pretty freakin' funny...

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Thursday, November 02, 2006

Fun Times


Last weekend I went to a wedding. It was the first of my college friends to get married (actually, I think it may be the first of my friends that are my age to get married). I arrive in St. Louis, the first time setting foot in Missouri since leaving KC two years ago, and get my car and head to the Cheshire Lodge to meet up with friends.

This place was a throwback to another era. Don't get me wrong, it was very clean, fairly nice, just odd. My friends were staying in a room that had a "Tally Ho!" plaque on the front door. The tv set was a nice 13 inch from the 70s, and the room had fake stained glass windows. In the bathroom, there was a bottle opener attached to the vanity -- one of the kind that screw into the marble and is there permanently.

Downstairs was Mr. Bear that you see pictured above. The place was rather surreal. I almost wish I had stayed just a little longer in St. Louis to warrant a night in one of the fantasy suites.

I'm generally not a big fan of weddings. They're always so formal with everyone acting wedding-ish. But this wedding was short, sweet, to-the-point, with only the parts that meant something to the couple thrown into the ceremony. Then, the rest of the time, spent enjoying friends and family.

And, the place was decorated with the couple in mind. My friend Sean is a toy freak - loves Japanese toys, robots, etc. He also loves skulls, and so, this was one of the two centerpieces:



Then, my favorite part, the bride's love of Hello Kitty was representing:



She also had Sanrio champagne flutes for the toast. I like this girl already :-) And, it was a great wedding -- very them, and very beautiful.

After the wedding, I was ready to get out of Missouri though. Something bad must have happened to me in a past life there. Even when I was on the plane headed for Dallas, I kept waking up thinking, "I can't oversleep. What if I get stuck here? I can't be stuck here!" Then I would wake up, after a few short seconds of panic I would realize I was on a plane, out of Missouri, and I was headed back home. My heart rate would slow back down as I snuggled back into my seat and pulled my eyemask back down.

This happened 3 times on the plane. Even though it was great seeing friends and catching up, I am so glad to be back home.

The happy groom:

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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Spirits


I enjoy spirits of all kinds. It's one of the few themes I can see throughout my work. Spirit in all of its definitions though.

Spirits of the alcoholic kind, spirits that like to haunt, "religious" spirit, the spirit that exists inside of all objects. Capturing spirits on film is my specialty -- well, most times on film. Sometimes on a memory card.

Memory card just doesn't sound quite as alluring as film.

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Thursday, October 12, 2006

Eye See You



I'm not sure how I would feel about a fish watching me while I eat caviar and sashimi. Would he be judging me? I see you eating my brothers!! What possesses someone to even come up with such a display? And wonder how long these fish live? How many times a day do they witness their own being eaten? Is he traumatized by this? What if he ends up belly up by the end of the meal? Do I just eat him too? Is he served to the next customer? Or is he supposed to be uber-fresh sashimi, slippery-slidy down my throat?

I stumbled upon this entree on Tsar Nicoulai Caviar's website. I probably would order this, though. 1) Just to see if I can answer my questions above, and 2) I love ahi tuna sashimi and, 3) Ginger Infused Whitefish Caviar sounds delicious.

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Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Lions and Tigers and Bears


It was another movie night for me, with another classic - The Wizard of Oz. I love the movie, and I love the book. I just wish they had put the china-land into the movie. If I ever continue with the postcards series, that will be the next image.

Again, as I watched the movie, I couldn't help but think how it would have been so different today. I guess I just wonder if any of the movies that are made today will become classics. I doubt it - very few at least.

If The Wizard of Oz were made today, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Lion couldn't have just gotten along. One of them would have had to be the outcast that the others made smarmy comments to. Toto would have worn a t-shirt with "Bitch" on it, or some other tongue-and-cheek saying. Instead of the opening scene in Oz being plastic flowers and painted backgrounds, it would have been a multi-million dollar background complete with computer-generated effects, that in the end would have been the focus instead of leaving it on Judy Garland. And munchkins -- well, that would have been politically incorrect or insensitive I'm sure. I'm not sure how that would have changed, but I'm sure it would have.

Sometimes simpler is better.

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Thursday, September 21, 2006

I have a fetish


I hadn't realized it until lately, but apparently I'm really into lily pads and the flowers that go with. You can see them here, here, here, and here (okay, that was just the one above again).

Maybe I'll find another water lily for your viewing pleasure tomorrow.

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Monday, September 11, 2006

Nine-eleven

Five years ago today I was unemployed. I remember the day quite well. For some reason I had awoke early, and I rolled over and turned on the TV. The first tower had already been hit and that was all that was on. I watched out of curiosity, wondering what had happened.

After 5 or 10 minutes I saw the plane hit the second tower live. I forget who I was watching that morning news-wise, but I remember thinking the man was an idiot. He was hypothesizing that the second plane hitting was an accident. Then he was bewildered when the first tower came crashing to the ground. Of course the thing is going to crash to the ground -- I'm surprised it didn't melt to the ground Wicked Witch style.

I laid in bed most of the morning, just watching the different news coverage and thinking my mom was probably losing lots of money that day (she sales tv ads). Shit, this was bad... all I could do was shake my head.

Then the phone rang. It was the man who ended up being my boss, asking me to come in for an interview the following day.

And that's why the day sticks out in my mind. A disasterous day for the nation and this guy's calling me for an interview. Life goes on, no matter what happens.

I hadn't planned to write a "where were you..." article today, but as I fell asleep last night the news was showing Bush and his wife attending a church service (I think it was in memoriam of the victims, not sure). I forget his exact words, but I remember thinking in my half-concious state that I couldn't believe this guy. Here he is in church, and he's talking revenge -- not actually saying that word, but that's what he conveyed.

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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

A Twinkle In Her Eye


The other night I had a dream about my Granny. I was sitting in Grandpa's chair and turned my head to the left, and there she was, standing, looking at us, where she usually sat. We all wondered how she'd gotten there, as she was supposed to be in the nursing home, not in good shape.

At that point in the dream, I woke up, saying, "That can't be right; she's dead." Then I woke up for real.

My grandmother lived a very good, full, long life until the last 5 or 6 months. She'd seen a lot of the world, she'd spent time with her grandchildren (that's an understatement), she'd live her life to the fullest. So it was hard that last 5 or 6 months to see her not living life -- though I wasn't seeing it, I was only hearing about it since I was on the other end of the US.

Which is why this entire thing still feels like some weird dream -- it doesn't feel real. She's not gone, I'm just 3,000 miles away.

What's funny is now when I try to remember all of the things we've done together over the years, there's only one moment that really sticks out in my head. I was in college, home for the summer. Granny was always telling me how proud she was of me, but this time was different.

We were walking out of the living room, where Grandpa was watching the news. She told me, "I'm so proud of you and all you've accomplished. You didn't get into those things other kids do like drugs and sex..."

What was funny was the way she said sex. She lowered her voice, to almost a whisper, and had a little smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. She said it like it was the most taboo word (and I was shocked to hear her say it, so maybe it was).

Then we both just giggled like a couple of schoolgirls, and I said, "Thank you Granny" as I gave her a hug.

I'm not sure why that is the one memory, out of all my memories of her, that overpowers them all. But I did like seeing that little twinkle in her eye -- she'd get it everytime she'd make a sly remark that she shouldn't and that was so atypical of her.

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