This is a major triumph for me. I’ve turned this orchid over, caught its petals in the screen door, and yet it still survives. I am amazed.

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Miscellany by Courtney

Beautiful day in Santa Cruz at the Aloha Grill. After having a plate lunch there I am craving Hawaiian macaroni salad. I’ve tried making it, but just can’t get it right.

Filed under:
Miscellany by Courtney

As a child I had a fear that I would end up in a hospital needing an operation. And, that at the precise moment the doctor was getting ready to operate on me, somewhere in the universe and alien would be operated on at the same time, and that would cause a time warp, and I would end up in the space ship, being operated on by the aliens, and the alien would end up here on earth, being operated on by the human doctors.

I have no idea where this fear came from. And it really was a fear – I was scared shitless that this would really happen to me. I had a very active imagination as a child.

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Miscellany by Courtney

Tonight it was candlelight dinner for one, which has just driven home the fact that I’m alone. Even as a kid I felt alone – and I was surrounded by people who cared about me and loved me. I’m a loner; I don’t really like people. Or maybe it’s just that I’m self-concious around people. I don’t like someone looking over my shoulder or watching me do anything, fearing they will critique how I’m doing something – or worse – question why I’m doing something. It’s none of your business! Leave me alone!

I guess I wasn’t completely alone – I had the Miles. I should have given him the extra burger I cooked – but I didn’t. He’s been eating peanut butter fudge for the past few days, so he needs to watch his girlish figure.

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Miscellany by Courtney

I’ve found that making a soundtrack for my yoga practice helps tremendously. Plus, it’s the music that puts me in a relaxed state, not what some fitness instructor or corporation that made a yoga DVD and CD thinks relaxes me. Instead of ocean waves and birds I have classical music, soundtrack songs, Asian pop, and a couple of new-agey things thrown in for good measure. Each piece around the approximate time I need to hold an asana.

So the three songs I’ve listed above (1 soundtrack, 2 new-agey, all Chilly Willy) are what play as I lay in the final corpse pose, eyes half focused, trying to make my brain stop running. And I see the mobile twirling above me. It’s rather surreal when my eyes come back into focus – like a Miro in motion.

Filed under:
Miscellany by Courtney