May 13, 2012
Carmel Beach 2010: My birthday picnic.
Oh Milo, how I will dearly miss you. My very first post on this blog was about you, being a carefree dog, letting your ears flap in the wind as we finished our adventures in the midwest and embarked on a new adventure in California.
2002: Rather unexpectedly I had the chance to bring you into my life, and I’m so glad I did. I picked you up as the snow began to fall, and the next morning, eager to explore your new surroundings, you took me skiing in my sneakers across the ice and snow behind the first KC apartment we shared. (more…)
May 31, 2011
For the first time in a while, I’m feeling right. Not sick. Not anxious. No belly full of butterflies, nausea in the pit of my stomach, afraid something is bad, bad wrong. I can’t put my finger on why exactly I was feeling that way, but that feeling has overtaken me for months, paralyzing me. Maybe it was just a string of random events, maybe it was just the winter doldrums. Does it really matter? I now feel like I can breathe, like there’s fresh ideas that might spring forth. When I look over and see Milo contemplating the Buddha, I can just laugh, feeling light and free and happy.
November 16, 2009
And my brain continues at a snail’s pace.
My past week+ has been taken up with a nervous stomach over Milo, and the ups and downs a parent might feel. First, worried about his surgery (torn ACL). Followed by happy that he was coming home. Followed by worry that he was too excited, followed by extreme worry that he wasn’t moving, followed by feeling helpless and sleeping in his bed with him because he was upset and crying, and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. This was followed by feelings of “did I do the right thing?” over the surgery; is he eating enough; is he eating too little? How much pain killer do I give him? Do I need to sedate him at night? Is it really okay if I leave his cone off? Is he using that leg too much? Too little? Will removing his staples tomorrow be painful? How will he react going back to the vet? Should I go to D.C. for Thanksgiving? What if something happens?????
Brain at a snail’s pace, unless it is thinking about Milo. Then it is flying at light speed, along with my heart, my breath. I know it will all turn out fine, but I can’t stop the anxiety.