August 17, 2009

We spent the earlier part of this year searching for a house, then we finally found one, put in an offer, luckily didn’t get that one, found another (which we actually had found previously, but it took us a while to decide it was right), found out someone else had put in an offer, we put in an offer, got in contract, and finally bought a house. Then reality set in – houses cost money. The life we knew was gone. The savings we had was gone; in its place is home equity. Welcome to grown up life, Courtney.

I make this sound bad, when really, it’s great. I wouldn’t trade it for the world; it’s really nice having a place to call home, though it’s taking a while to sink in that it’s ours. It’s a new project on a grander scale than previous projects. Walls to paint, tiles to break, bricks to fix, rooms to decorate. Grown up furniture, guest bedrooms, in-laws visiting. A bar that hides the liquor instead of showcasing it.

But my creations these days are very domestic. A decorated house, a yummy meal, a tomato or a cayenne pepper I grew and used in dinner. I have trouble with that, but I also enjoy that. There’s not enough time to create – art, dinner, a home – and work. Actually, I’m sure there is; I’m just lazy. Or maybe I just have too many ideas and not enough focus.

Ahh, but I’ve finally posted another post. I’ve put images back on Etsy for sale. I can make a resolution now to do better, to promote myself, to set aside time to work on the site, the blog, the art (as I haven’t created anything in 2 years now), exercise, learn new languages — all that stuff I want to do, but never get around to. Instead of resolutions, though, we’ll just see what happens. Resolutions, even made in August, seem to be the thing you break. At least, for me.

Pics of the house, in various states >>>


Summertime and yearning for Venice

March 4, 2009

I’ve been on a bit of a consumption binge lately. Needing to consume – purchasing, consuming movies, books, knowledge. Just trying to break out of my rut, watching the same Family Guy episode for the umpteenth time while glazed over.

This weekend I watched Summertime, a movie from the 50s starring Katharine Hepburn. I’m not sure that I have ever seen one of Hepburn’s movies before, but I decided I really don’t care for her. At all.

However, the movie itself was good. It had technicolor on its side, and it was set in Venice which made me long for another trip there. It’s already being planned in my head. Heavy wine drinkers need apply.

One of the things that struck me about this movie was Hepburn’s character – she arrives in Venice, and she carries this film camera with her everywhere, capturing every moment, preserving it on film. She doesn’t really experience anything – the only contact she really has at this point is with the other tourists at the hotel. A hot blonde and her artist boyfriend, the proprietor of the hotel (who offers her some fine Italian drink, which she decides to mix with bourbon), and some tourist-old-couple she met on the water taxi.

Then she meets a man – the man. He sets her heart (or something else) aflutter, but she spends the next half hour acting like an ass instead of enjoying the moment. Then she gives in, and the camera disappears. She begins to experience Venice, experience love and life, and the camera is no where in sight for the rest of the movie. Of course, I guess she should have acted like an ass – turns out he is married. But that is beside the point.

I have to wonder if the obsolete camera is intentional as she begins to experience Venice. Does this mean David Lean felt the same way I do? That the camera somehow abstracts you from reality, from the moment, even though it is capturing that moment for a lifetime or more? That the camera interferes with your ability to experience by placing a mechanical device and a lens between you and life?


It’s 2009. How did that happen?

January 9, 2009

Blink. A year went by. 2008 was a good year where I feel like I did a lot of nothing. I rested up from event-filled 2007. I wasn’t quite as crazy as I was in 2005 heading into 2006, though the way this work week is going, if I’m not careful, I’ll be back there. I guess I’ll just have to keep my sage friend pappy’s advice in mind, “Fuck work. :D”

I’m back to blah again, with nothingness sitting in my brain. My mind is blank – right now would be a great time to take up that whole zen meditation thing, because I can’t force a thought out of my head, except, of course, this rambling. Which hardly counts as a thought.


Science Fiction Novels run through my Head

October 22, 2008

Lately, when I start to wake, instead of remembering part of a dream, I have a novel running through my head as I come into consciousness. Crazy stories, just like I’m reading it from a book.

This morning’s was something out of science fiction. A person, in the future, doing some schleppy IT-related work because he wants to slack off. Only he realizes the work he does fuels what he hates about society and aids in lining the pockets of his enemies. There were spaceships involved – a la Futurama, but more grown up and realistic and grimy.

It just always strikes me as odd when I wake up and there are these well-formed sentences running through my head, and I’m not the center of the dream or even watching it – someone is narrating it. I find it even more odd that I have some sort of science fiction brewing in my unconscious; I don’t even like science fiction. But that can mainly be blamed on Star Trek.

It’s time to pick up work on the pod series again.


VP nominee debates and how the press infuriates me

October 3, 2008

Pantheon, Rome

I’m not big on watching political anything. It’s just not for me, listening to people drone on. Put a transcript in front of me, so I can read, deconstruct, take notes – that I can do, though I realize you lose the human element, body language, the tone. I just can’t stomach 90 minutes of chatter and blah, blah, blah.

But highlights – a 3 to 5 minute recap, I’ll listen to that, stay current (again, taken with a grain of salt, since what is shown is very subjective to the producers, reporters and editors). The thing that really strikes me this morning is, “Biden vs. Palin – there’s no clear winner, but Palin didn’t fail, which is what many expected. She held her own.”

Yes, that’s a good motivator for me when I’m at my lowest. I may not have sparkled and shined, performing top-notch, but at least I didn’t fail. Quite frankly, I don’t see that as I’m successful at something. Is that really what we need in a leader of our country? “Wow, she didn’t fail, so that’s successful.” That’s bullshit. You need a leader, someone who can take charge, bring value to the table and clearly come out on top. Not someone who scrapes by, because they didn’t fail.

Since I didn’t really listen to the debate, and I haven’t actually read any in-depth information on the debate, this isn’t so much a criticism of the two candidates as it is the press and the reaction of the hand-picked “public” on the TV this morning.